Lent Reflections, Part 2

God is saying to me,

Ezra, you were capable of doing great things in your life. But I took those away from you because I wanted to show you that I was the one who gave you the ability, that I am God, that I AM... and that I love you. Your abilities, applied to any other "great" purpose except in service of me, would be worthless because they would not lead you to me. And I love you too much to see my gifts lead you away from me.

I've realized more and more over the past few years how insignificant worldly goals are next to God. This realization has been intensifying in recent months and I find it humbling.

Uno dei impeti of my realization, a profound thought from small group discussion:

We often say, to other people and amongst ourselves, 'Believe in Christ to have eternal life.' But the truth is, Christ Himself IS eternal life. There is no life to be had apart from Him.

Which echoes a thought out of Francis Chan's book, Forgotten God. He criticizes so-called "Christians" who have "in a sense, asked Him to join them on their life journey, to follow them wherever they feel they should go, rather than following Him as we are commanded" (Chan, Forgotten God, Pp 122). That is me. I don't know if that's you, but that is definitely me. I have thrashed about, thrown tantrums trying to get God to see the "good" that is in my plans. Even now, I am not wholly at ease with the certainty of uncertainty. There is nothing sure in my future but the surety of Christ and His work. Am I sounding convincingly unconvinced of God's promises, yet?

Che segue, then, is my response to this realization I have received about myself. To allow myself to truly be guided by the Holy Spirit. I have been lacking that guidance not because it hasn't been provided, or even because I am unable to see it, but because I have willfully chosen not to see it.