To Be a Son of Abraham

I've been undergoing a time of trial, and I struggle to get and keep my priorities straight. Having grown up inundated in the culture of an Asian-American church in the well-to-do suburbs, it is an existential crisis in the making when your life doesn't go as planned. By planned, I mean doing well in school, getting into a relatively good career, settling down. In the previous academic year I experienced a mental breakdown due to ongoing clinical depression and flunked out of college after two successive poor semesters.

I've just had to realize that those items are just idols for me. My small group recently studied the oft-read passage where Abraham received his calling. Abraham was called to give up his place in society. He had to leave what was then one of the centers of culture and civilization, to leave his nation, go out into what was the boonies (Canaan). His family didn't make it even halfway before they settled, and it wasn't until his father died that Abraham was called even out of his father's household. This family was the source of his standing in society.

God's call of an individual is radical. In our society, our places in society are much more a function of economics than family, especially in this culture of individualism, and to some extent, family is affected by economics. For some of us, the call may be to relinquish our expectations of good income and high standard of living. That may even be part of a call similar to Abraham's, to leave our precious nation. I've had to realize that I will probably never drive the car I want, live in the house I want in the neighborhood of my choosing, or experience the admiration of the peers I've known all my life. It hurts to kill my expectations and dreams. It hurts to not measure up in the eyes of people even within the church, because that's how far the corruption of our society spreads. It's difficult to reject such paradigms.

I have been the rich young ruler who shook his head sadly when told to give up his wealth. The clinical depression I mentioned in the opening paragraph was a result of doing poorly at a more prestigious university and essentially failing this exact same test I am facing now. I now believe that I was meant to fail, so that I could truly see, and live. In the Bible, that young man walked away, but Christ has not let me do the same. I must have the faith of Abraham who left all that he knew and understood to follow a God he could only have faith would do what He promised. God's promise to Abraham has come true, as we Christ-followers are his children. Christ's Kingdom is the great nation. We are the blessed, because of his faith.

I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." - Genesis 12:2-3