What You See

If you see me doing anything good or productive, know that it is not of me.  What you witness is God at work, animating me to do that which is counter to what I am.

Ancient Utterings by Persons Long Dead to Other Deceased Individuals, Part 1c

(Recorded in the same journal, on the same day; see previous entry).

After receiving this.

I'm here on this cold, golden day, and the sun is shining through a crack in the curtains on this afternoon here in her house.  We sit here in the silence, enjoying it, because within it is carried all the unspoken words of our minds and the mutual feelings and emotions of our hearts.  The very air is saturated with our quiet happiness, pregnant with contentment.  This is where I find myself, this singular, eternal moment.  The paradox of that phrase aside, the description is apt.  I feel incredibly blessed by God to be with this wonderful, wonderful girl, and cannot be thankful enough.

I am happy.

Ancient Utterings by Persons Long Dead to Other Deceased Individuals, Part 1b

2-6-2006        Monday

     I'm setting an example for you!  Journaling is cool. ^_^  I want you to fill these pages with anything and everything - thoughts, quotes, verses, memories, longings, poems, songs, stories...

     If you don't have time, just write down one or two sentences!  Write about how He's blessing you, how He's changing you.  Write about our story.  Write about praises and prayers, 记忆和回忆...

     18... gosh how exciting!!!

     There is so much that I want to say here.  So much so that nothing ends up coming out!  I guess I'm just silly like that. :)

     Actually, nothing really needs to be said either.  I'm sure we'll cover everything today.  If not, we will do it sometime later.  We'll have a lot of time too, maybe even all the time there is.  If that's the case, I'm sure I'll be able to think of ways to phrase what I want you to know.

     Hurting one another is inevitable at this point in our unique friendship.  Someday, maybe in a small way, I will unintentionally hurt you, of, if I'm in a weird mood, it could be intentional... if I forget to say it later, I'm so sorry.  Girls hurt boys, we all know.  Write about it.  Give it to Jesus.  Give me another chance.

     Thank you for everything.  I don't know how to describe what you really mean to me.  I'm not as good with words as you are.  But I can show you. :)

Life isn't easy.

             Friendships may die.

      But I believe.

                     I believe.

        因为我们有爱情.  <3<3

     Happy birthday buddy.  Best of luck in the future.  A lot of people love you.  A lot of people are praying for you.  Stay strong and stay cool!

God bless,

W

(Oh, and you'd better use this!!!)

^_^

Ancient Utterings by Persons Long Dead to Other Deceased Individuals, Part 1a

(Written onto said CD).

Hey Ezra this is your girl W, presenting you with a CD mix with much love! I hope you like it and think of me when you listen to these songs, even if it's like at some totally random place, like some store - which is unlikely because you never shop, and those songs are all sappy slow jams ^_^

听一听,笑一笑 Enjoy!
--

I can't seem to get away from my past, so I might as well get it all out.

Why I Don't Blog Anymore

I realize why I don't blog anymore. It's because, on some level, I am aware of just how self-absorbed I am, and blogging reveals to the world my true nature. I cannot bear to show people a quality I myself despise, for hypocrisy I despise even more.