Where I am Now

I'm coming to the conclusion that life was meant to be lived how we choose to live it, not according to others' ideals and values. Others' opinions can inform your own, but ultimately we choose to adopt the parts that suit us and reject the parts that don't.

That brings me back to faith. Specifically, the Christian faith. I'll make my choices and own them. God is my judge, not anybody else. I'm at a place in my soul where my community is further away from being able to minister to me than ever before. I need people to walk with me while I figure out life, even while I might not be making choices that are deemed "right." God is working on my behalf and getting me through this trying time in life, I know he is. He's providing for me. He's brought me to all these challenges, and he will bring me through them.

That's why I still pray, even though Sunday School is mostly inconsequential fluff. I've never claimed to be "perfect," nor is perfection, by any definition, what I seek. I've only ever wanted to live, and live well, and to be honest and real. Because that's a prerequisite to loving and being loved, and a prerequisite to true joy that persists even in hard times.

We're all God's children, trying to make our way in this world. Live and let live, I say.