On the Future

I'm sure you've all been perceiving that the rest of our lives is about to begin, in some way. But for some reason, whereas some of you may feel it as the Spirit descending upon you invigoratingly, I see nothing but gloom and boredom. And maybe that's why I'm so reluctant to part ways with childhood - I see only nothingness in my future.

And it's not supposed to be like that, especially for one professing to be believe in Christ and His glory manifested through the Church. But perhaps I no longer truly believe in the power of such truth to effect change in us. In which case, it is no longer truth to me.

I'm just waiting for You to move me, God. I need something to aspire to.

I am a petty fool.  I find myself envious of the attention other people receive on their birthdays, and seethe at the injustice of it all.  My desire for others' well-regard is a weakness I must purge.